Sometimes I wonder if I’m sharing too much. But I look back over my years of writing and ever since I miscarried in 2009 I’ve been transparent. I’ve shared everything from losing a baby, to life in ministry, twin pregnancy, breastfeeding, parenting, foster care and now cancer. It helps me process yes- but I have found that being vulnerable with my story has made space for others to own their story as well. I’ve had countless messages of people expressing their thanks for my willingness to share personal things because it made them feel less alone, or more encouraged or like they could get through what they are facing.
Sometimes I panic after a post and delete it. Sometimes I don’t get the same engagement and I think- maybe I overdid it? Sometimes I know the stories that others are facing but remain quiet and wonder if I should too. But what I’m learning is the more vulnerable and authentic I allow myself to be, the more work God seems to be doing on my heart. Laying open my soul in one area has had a domino effect and, while tender, that open soul feels nearer to Christ.
Today I got a message from someone who thanked me for sharing so openly. My story encouraged her to get some things checked out and because she did - she won’t be battling a hidden colon cancer. That’s worth all the vulnerability, authenticity and late night blog posts.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”