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25% Done

3 rounds down....9 to go. I’m 25% of the way done with my infusions. I like looking at it that way (thanks for the tip Mom!)

This last round in the chair was super emotional for me. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror with my pole on one of my many bathroom trips (thanks extra hydration) and it just hit me. This is my life- how in the world am I getting chemo? Did this actually happen? It felt surreal. 

After I sat back in my chair the tears rolled down behind my mask and I had to pull myself together and then text Trevor. Who sent me this:

Our pride and your courage is about YOU and how you are real, and vulnerable, and compassionate - and that this season is just one more way (sucky way) that God shows you who you are. you are his. you are mine. you are an amazing mom. you are a warrior!!”
He’s the best. 
And then I fell asleep (thank you IV Benny and AirPods). 

This is a roller coaster experience and some days are fun and fine and other days I want off or I want to puke or both. Most days I experience every feeling at some point in the day. 

I am looking forward to my 12 day break and hoping my roughest days are manageable (Sunday-Tuesday) especially since Trevor will be back working on Sunday mornings.

Waiting for my Uber (Trevor and the boys!) 


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