Thursday, May 1, 2014

On Friendships

I've been thinking recently about friendships.

How blessed I am in this season of my life, to have the friends I do.

When you are little friendships are really just about socializing and finding someone who likes to play the same things as you. Sometimes, those random friendships last your whole life and while it's not the same as weekly play-dates, you still keep in touch and care about one another.

After marriage friendships get harder. Some of your friends aren't married, and that's just not the same. Some of them are but they have kids and that's not the same either. It's a total transition time and you're trying to adjust to that new married life and have friendships that understand. The same goes with becoming a Mom. You are desperate to find people who understand where you are coming from and are okay talking about kids a LOT because that is your life and that is what matters right then.

People start to grow up and the silly things that used to matter don't anymore, and you need and want a friendship that isn't shallow.

I don't care for small talk. In fact, I often just put my head down and walk quickly so that I don't have to do small talk. I would rather sit down with a cuppa and get deep and personal. That's just who I am. Go big or go home. This is good yes, but also I tend to keep myself from opening to other people because I can't go deep and personal with everyone, so why try. I have to find a balance of being relational with the acquaintance and then having friends that I bare my soul to.

I have those friends. I text those friends every day. We meet once a week with our families to dream and pray together. 

One of these friends I have known for years, but we never hung out. Then organically it happened and now she is who I call first if I need help. In an emergency, after my Mom it's her.  She's the person I text for immediate prayer. She's the person who encourages me after just spending an hour walking or running with. She became the person I trusted the most before I ever realized it. She's not super mushy, but I am. We are similar but also quite different. She and Trev actually have more of the same tendencies and that's probably why I love her so much.  :)  

It's not just fluff. It's the challenge to live better, to be a better person and a better wife and Mom. It's that challenge to do this life better that I couldn't known or expected. It just happened. I am so thankful it did. 

We need friends. Real friends who want to know how we are really doing. The ones that don't ask, they just show up with coffee in hand. The ones who challenge you to live better, to dream more and to love deeper.  We can't do this life well if we don't have people around us heading the same direction. 
Sometimes I feel like I'm just hanging on for dear life, and I've grabbed these people who are feeling the same and we hold on to one another like life jackets and close our eyes tight hoping and praying we make it through the storms. 

Thank you friends. For loving me despite myself. 
For being who you are.


  1. Waaaaaaaaaaaa- I miss you. Wish this morning would have worked out! Next week?!?

  2. I love this. Such a tender topic for women ... Friendship. Your words resonate - going big and deep, avoiding small talk. I have always struggled with figuring out how to engage and *not dive deep. It's my heart. and yet, its not for everyone. :) like you, soo thankful for the gift of authentic friendships ... Couldn't do life without them.