Skip to main content

And then I turned 30: Thoughts on Trust

30

I didn't freak out about turning 30, it's just that my mind can't wrap itself around that number.

I feel 25, 30 sounds old. Sorry, but it does. 
I don't feel old....most days. And then there are the days I look in the mirror and I see what life looks like on my face.

The being in full time ministry for 10 years
The three kids under three we had
The miscarriage
The NICU
The family crises
The unknown

My face may look older, and more worn....but my heart, that feels like it's been made brand new through all of the sharpening, the pruning, the weeding. 

I feel as if life is really just getting started.
God is doing a new thing in my life, in our lives and there is stirring, a calling to do greater things for His name.
The things that mattered before, just don't.
The things that were on the sidelines become forefront. 

I've mentioned before we've been in this time of transition, of wait. 
We are heading into a time of change and growth with a new pastor coming and things on the horizon we've only dreamed of.

If I'm not careful, I become like the Israelite's who shortly after receiving word from God and answers to their cries, went right back out and complained again.
It's so easy to be short sighted and to forget the 
one thing that doesn't ever change.

His faithfulness. He knows it all and has it in His hands, why do we fret?

One moment we have some answers and we praise Him and say thank you.
The next moment we feel uneasy again because there is an unknown...and we start to doubt.
Things shape up differently than we expected and we start grappling again.

Did we not hear correctly? Did we miss something along the way?

We doubt that He really does know what He is doing.
We may not say that, but we do with our worry, or desire to get our hands on things that are not for us to control.


There is freedom in letting go. 
Freedom in acknowledging that we don't need to know.
It sounds so opposite- because when we worry it's almost like we feel we can control things.
We plan and we schedule and we manipulate and process and analyze.

For what? 

Trusting in Christ to do what He has already said He would do, which is be faithful, 
that isn't a one and done thing. 
It's a daily sacrifice. 
I have to daily lay down my desires to know what is ahead, to know the plan, to trust in His perfect course for our lives.


I am beyond excited for what lies ahead.
Beyond freaked out as well.

I feel that's an okay combo to have. 

Comments

  1. I think when you turn 30 you start becoming more aware of "getting older"...at least I did. For me 30 to 40 happened way to quick. I'm just trying to take each day as it comes and not freak out to much each birthday. You're still young to me Krystle.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Win a custom header and grab button!

I'm super excited to have already reached 50 followers on my new blog here! I promised a giveaway and so here it is! Melanie over at Elegant Custom Designs has donated her time and skills to design a custom header and a grab button for your blog! She does beautiful work, so I know you will be quite pleased! This includes installation if you are a Blogger user. If you use Word Press you will get the code, but you will have to install it yourself. :) Here is how you can enter to win and make sure you leave a separate comment for each entry! Mandatory entry : Leave a comment letting me know you are a Google follower! Extra Entry : Follow Melanie at Only a Breath Extra Entry: Tell me why your blog name is what it is! This giveaway will end on Friday April 1st at 8:00pm West Coast time :) I will announce the winner that evening (if I can get on the computer hehe) Good luck :)

What’s more lame than having one type of cancer? Having two.

I had two colon polyps that popped positive for cancer. The thing is, they were in such different places they are considered two different cancers. Colon stage 3a and Rectal stage 3b . What’s more sexy than that?  My 5 weeks of radiation and oral chemo was to kill off any remaining cancer cells in the rectal area because even though my surgeon (while tactless) actually did an amazing job by literally remaking that whole area internally and avoiding any sort of colostomy bag- you can’t guarantee you got it all. So standard practice is always pelvic radiation for that area.  The chemotherapy infusions are to make sure every last naughty cell in my body is gone. Because I had it in one of the lymph nodes they removed, it showed this cancer was able to travel which is how cancer spreads to your other body parts. If it wasn’t in the lymph nodes yet chemo wouldn’t have been necessary. So glad we caught this when we did and that I actually had symptoms to warrant a colonoscopy. Often times th

BeautiControl Giveaway!

Have you heard of BeautiControl? This is an incredible line of skin care products that truly work ! It's skin care, bath and body, makeup and men's care! When I was pregnant a friend of mine who sells this came over and pampered me and a few friends, and then I started using the face system just before the babies were born. It did wonders. Then I ran out, and I put it off and my skin got bad again. And then about 2 weeks ago I started using it again. Wow. A visible difference in just two weeks. It looks better and feels better! Face Lift Line I am super picky about my skincare items, and I don't buy just anything.  Plus, I still struggle with breakouts. This stuff not only smells amazing, and makes my skin feel incredibly soft, but it does it's job. They have a huge line that you will have to check out, just go over to their website and browse around! You can see if there is a consultant in your area and host a spa party!!! Today I am giving away a Chocolate Indulgence