My heart is ready to jump at the things God has put on my heart, He’s opened my eyes to the task at hand and I am just standing at the edge of the cliff ready to jump into the deep waters.
Learning to wait on God’s timing. Learning when to push and make things happen, and when to sit back and wait.
I’m not so good at the latter…..
Do I think it’s going to be beautiful and lovely all the time? Am I so romanced by the idea that I am not aware of the struggle that lies ahead?
No, I do not pretend to think the days ahead are going to be so full of joy because God is in the midst. It would be easy to think that because it’s His dream, His calling, His purpose that it would be always beautiful. But it won’t.
It will be hard. Harder than anything. The days will leave us exhausted and weary and tearful. We will have days where we want to give up and give in. Days we question if we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.
Days where we bicker and argue, days of no patience and snapping words.
Women we've invested in will go back to their pimps, young girls will abort their babies, the young men will go back to drugs, and people will steal and lie and use us.
And we will be broken.
We have to know going in that while we will be fulfilled in our hearts, that God will supply our every need spiritually to walk this path before us….that it will not be easy.
You need only look to scripture to see the truth in this.
The people God really used, the ordinary folk…they praised Him. They were used by Him. They also lost their possessions; they were beaten, stoned, crucified, mocked and killed.
He doesn't hide that from us. It is made clear.
Is it worth it? Is this life worth the heartache that can accompany the miracle?
Is risking your family worth it? Is giving up your house, your job, your income worth it? Is being misunderstood and disrespected worth it?
Can you say, “Lord, do with me what you will” and know that He may take away everything you love on this earth to use you?
We must remember that our God is Kingdom minded. He sees the eternal ramifications, while we can only see the here and now. He sees the greater purpose. We have to remind ourselves daily to think Kingdom minded. Daily giving up our rights in the here and now and trusting that while He has our best in mind, He will always be about the Kingdom. It must be about saving souls for eternity. If we can grasp that concept, if we can hold onto that and let go of the rest of it then we can confidently say it’s worth it. Every single thing is worth the cause of the Kingdom.
As much as it scares me to put it down on paper. As much as my flesh wants to hold on tightly to the things that matter to me more than anything. I must be willing to let Him take anything and everything in my life to use for Him.
I must let him have my family, my husband and my kids. My house, our income, our cars, our lives. I must let Him have access to whatever He chooses because in the end…it is worth it.
Living Kingdom minded is not something you arrive at. It’s something you must consciously do each day. And it will not be easy. It will not look pretty. But it will be worth it.