I get bored being at home sometimes. I get exhausted and tired and sometimes the lack of change in my day makes me nutty.
It doesn't mean I don't LOVE being home with my kids. It doesn't mean I don't thank the Lord each day that I get to do this. I know so many wish they could but can't. It doesn't mean I wish I was working outside the home, because even on my hardest days I fall into bed at night so thankful for this opportunity that presents itself in a sacrifice.
I am grateful. I am thankful.
I am beyond blessed and most of the time I relish it.
But these long days of little ones, the wiping of the boogers and the "No don't do that" every 5 minutes and the cleaning of the messes and the diffusing of fights and the never ending movement is exhausting and mind-numbing.
I think too often, those of us who are home with our kids all the time
are afraid that if we admit we feel this way we are bad Moms.
We feel we have to keep up the
"this is so awesome all the time I just love it, even the hard days..." facade.
We believe that if we admit some days (or weeks) just downright suck we are somehow telling people we wish we didn't stay home all the time, or that those in the working world tell us they could never ever ever do what we do would get some sort of satisfaction that they were right, or that we aren't cut out for this- the hardest job of all.
None of that is true.
You, Mama who stays home all the time with your littles....you are putting that pressure on yourself. You are putting standards on your emotions that are not remotely fair.
You have bad days. You have really bad days where you think "what the heck am I doing?!"
And that's okay.
Sometimes those days turn into weeks when the kids are teething and sick and tantruming (that isn't really a word but I'm going with it) and you have had very little adult conversation and maybe you have only showered a few times that week and you wore two different shoes to pick up your Preschooler and you've eaten chicken nuggets while standing at the counter more than once this week and you can't remember if you brushed your teeth.
And you know.....you KNOW that you are blessed. You know these days will soon pass and you have taken the advice to cherish the moments and count your blessings....but that doesn't mean you can't just say it stinks sometimes.
I give you permission to say so. To say that the hard days suck because it feels good to be honest and forthright with yourself.
Don't feel guilty for not feeling super spunky about your days at home all the time. That's just more exhaustion in the making.
There are many a blog post about cherishing the little moments, being grateful for them and helping you get perspective and they are good and I read them often....
But someday's I just wanna say "it just kinda sucks today" and feel safe doing that.
And the good days far outweigh the crappy days.... thank heavens :)
Above pictures represent one of those bad days.
I gave up and just let them jump off the sofa and took pics :)