Friday, March 23, 2012

Guest: Megan from boho mama!

Welcome to the blog, Megan, from boho mama! Megan is a real life friend who has some of the most beautiful and precious twin girls I have ever seen! Megan is an incredible writer, passionate mother and homemaker and a genuine friend. I encourage you to check out her blog and especially her series: 
Welcome Megan!
P.S....there is a cloth diaper giveaway going on over there....

Hi, I'm Megan from The Boho Mama, and I'm so excited to be guest posting for Krystle today. We've known each other a very long time - 15 years or so - having grown up in the same church congregation. I vividly remember her very cool New Kids on the Block comforter and playing in her cul-de-sac! We reconnected after I found out we were also having twins, and she's been an inspiration and encouragement to me in so many ways. Today, I'm talking about expectations.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I had some grandiose visions about pregnancy, birth, and parenting. Don't we all? We cradle or growing bellies and dream about the future - I would have a calm, nurturing pregnancy, a gentle, midwife-assisted birth, and be a model "attachment" parent. When we saw two heartbeats on the ultrasound screen, my dreams and reality met head-on. In Oregon, midwives can't assist a twin birth in a birth center, so my only option was to have a home birth. While I admire those women who do, it was definitely not something I was comfortable with. So, out the window went the quiet, gentle waterbirth. I left the lovely birth center and found myself an OB who would confidently vaginally deliver a breech twin B. While pregnant, I wanted to be super crafty and make amazing gifts for my daughters, glitter spilling on my swollen tummy, and take creative belly shots every month to track my progress. The crafts didn't happen: I could barely get up from the couch to press "play" as I re-watched the entire Gilmore Girls series over and over. We took some pictures, but not enough to make a clever Pinterest-inspired photo collage. But the most vivid illustration of letting go of my expectations came in watching the evolution of our birth plan. It started out as a manifesto: three typed pages, 10-point font, with every single detail spelled out. A few months later, it was down to two pages. When I went into pre-term labor at 31 weeks, it looked like I might not get to have a birth plan at all. They were able to stop the contractions, and for the next two weeks, I created three different birth plans while reclining on the hospital bed. Birth Plan One: To be used for if birth happens prior to 34 weeks with a C-Section. Birth Plan Two: To be used if a vaginal birth happens prior to 34 weeks. Birth Plan Three: Anything that happens at 35+ weeks, with sections for both vaginal and C-section.

When my girls were finally born at 34 weeks and five days, my birth plan was a one-page list of "hopes", with the only bold font being "please use donor breast milk in the NICU." Even though my pregnancy, birth, and the NICU time after was not what I had expected or desired, I still feel fortunate enough that the two things dearest to my heart happened: a vaginal birth and successful breastfeeding. I was thankful beyond belief, and could have cared less about page two, bullet-point five of the birth plan.

I also feel so blessed that God was gentle with me - He knows me enough to allow me 6 months to come to grips with not having absolute control over my birth experience. Little by little, my attitude changed, and when my daughters were finally born I was OK with whatever happened. I didn't become a passive spectator by any means, but I took ownership of what I could help, gave the rest to God, and lived in the moment, because birth is sacred, no matter how the babe(s) enter this world.

Beyond the birth experience, letting go of expectations and embracing reality has served me incredibly well in this first year as a mom to twins. Taking care of two babies means that you have no choice but to be flexible, because most days, things do not go according to plan!


  1. So true! I had grandiose plans too about how I wanted L&D to go, but with pre term labor and pre-eclampsia, I had to just go with the flow! That has since followed through with raising my girls for the last 17's definitely rare for things to go as planned, so go with the flow!
    Great job surviving the first year with twins Megan!
    Love the post! =0

  2. What a beautiful family Megan! You are truly blessed!

  3. "letting go of expectations and embracing reality has served me incredibly well" Love it. That's the BEST advice you could give any new mom. It takes a certain grace. Two+ years into this gig and I'm still learning... :)