Friday, March 30, 2012

Guest Blogger: Emily from Home2learn

I am pleased to have Emily as my guest today, she is one of the most genuine people I have ever met, and I don't think you could meet her or read her words and not feel that. She is a kindred spirit to me. We miscarried around the same time and then had babies around the same time and she is always an encouragement to me, and an inspiration! Please head over to Emily's blog after you read and search around for homeschooling ideas, recipes with whole foods and of course...encouragement!
Welcome Emily!

I was with some sweet friends recently and one dear mama was sharing the victory she’s been experiencing in her marriage.  She is breaking the habit of being disrespectful and rude to her hubby. She shared her concern that for so many years her children have witnessed her behavior to her man … she was grappling with feeling like she should sit her kids down and have a “big talk” about her mistakes, the changes she’s making, etc. (we all know those “big talks”!)
I love her mama heart and rejoiced with her in the awesome changes she is making!  Thank GOD.
As we talked, I shared ideas of how I like to weave in words of respect and adoration of my man with my daughter throughout everyday life.
As mama’s, we have a beautiful opportunity to speak uplift and respect about our husbands, toour kids.
I can give voice to the reality around us in ways that provide a frame in my daughter’s mind about my husband and her dad.  This frame becomes a part of the lens through which she discerns attributes in her future spouse.
For instance, my hubby is truly the hardest working individual I’ve ever known. He is tireless in his efforts to do the work GOD has set before him; he has a very strong work ethic and sees projects through to completion. I have been able to praise him to my daughter, to positively frame his extraordinary work ethic, in everyday conversations.
“Look how hard he is working for our family! He is so diligent to work so hard with so many challenges, being obedient to GOD’s call for him. He sure loves his family!”
Nowadays, this has become something that she sees and articulates. Ironically, as I was preparing to write this today, we were running errands with our recently-fixed-by-my-hubby stroller in tow. My daughter commented, “it’s a good thing that you have him for a husband! He takes care of so many things and doesn’t stop until a project is finished.” I smiled as I thought about what I was writing, and how she truly has internalized the message that I am passionate to share: we are well-blessed. GOD has provided our family a gift in the form of my hubby; the strengths and gifts he brings are of such great value.
This man is also exceedingly patient. And he never complains (like, never). These are awesome character traits that I want to train her eye to see and seek in her future spouse!
What a gift we have as wives and mama’s, to not only adore and respect our men in their presence … but to allow our children to grow up in a home of deep uplift and esteeming love.

{I want to add a very honest caveat …I have come to realize that I have a choice: will I focus and allow my thoughts to marinate on my hubby’s “weaknesses”, on my unmet expectations, on comparing who does how much of what; OR will I focus on the blessings, on the good-heartedness of my man toward me and most of all, on the fact that this man is the partner that GOD brought me? Not for my happiness but for my holiness … to refine and grow me in Christ-likeness. Wherever I let my mind camp affects my mood which then affects my actions … and as a mama, I know that my mood really does set the tone! We have so much power, which is such a beautiful gift and responsibility! “For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” Matthew 12:34.  Let me keep my mind and heart focused in gratitude and love for this man, this GIFT, God has so generously brought to me.}

 Emily blogs at  She is married to the man of her dreams and the mama to 2 – Madison, 12 and Josiah, 1 year next month! (with her 3rd miracle due next fall). She blogs about the ups and downs of being a mama, whole food cooking and nutrition, homeschooling, relationship, GOD’s love and faithfulness, sweet times, health, and everyday life!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Time, Stealing and Easter crafting...

That title should sum of the randomness of my post.....I didn't really mean to take a break from blogging, it just kind of happened. I really have been sitting on the floor most of the day playing with my boys, allowing the kitchen and laundry go. And it's been lovely and precious and so that is where I have been.

I read Ann Voskamp's blog everyday. I don't read any other blog that challenges me daily like hers does. Yesterday her post was about how much time do we really have? How many moments do I have with these little ones, and my sweetheart and what do I want to give them while I am here. Why wait to live full of joy? Do it now, because you may not have more time than that. Don't waste a second of it being dissatisfied, or angry, or and your family deserve better than that. Your situation may never change, but your attitude and perspective can. Ah, breathe it in....soak it up. These are the moments.

My husband's wallet, coat and money clip were stolen on Sunday. At church. Yeah, not the first place you'd guess right? But honestly (after being totally bummed about all that was in his wallet, and that being a nice coat I bought him) one of the first thought's I had was, "We have people in our church who need Jesus!!!" And isn't that the point? If there is no one searching, or seeking within our walls, we are not doing our job. If there are no sick people, no hurting people then we have missed the mark. And I'm praying for this person, that somehow they find Jesus in this. Maybe they've gone to our church for awhile, but they don't know Him. Or maybe they came in off the street and grabbed the jacket on a rainy day, or needed food and grabbed it for the cash inside. Either way, I know God will use this for His glory if we let Him. Choosing to see. Choosing to be thankful that he has more than that one coat, and that everything is replaceable and it's just stuff. 

I do wonder if the person does attend our church, and what they thought when they saw his licence and realized it was a pastor's stuff they stole. I get a little chuckle out of that....

It's spring break here, and it's rainy and windy and gloomy out. But we are preparing for Easter in our home and in our hearts. These are the things on my list that we have done, or our planning on doing: 

This is a little behavior chart, ours looks almost identical

It's working great and it's a great visual for Jack. 

We are doing these projects in the next few weeks for Easter

What about you? What are you up to?

Friday, March 23, 2012

Guest: Megan from boho mama!

Welcome to the blog, Megan, from boho mama! Megan is a real life friend who has some of the most beautiful and precious twin girls I have ever seen! Megan is an incredible writer, passionate mother and homemaker and a genuine friend. I encourage you to check out her blog and especially her series: 
Welcome Megan!
P.S....there is a cloth diaper giveaway going on over there....

Hi, I'm Megan from The Boho Mama, and I'm so excited to be guest posting for Krystle today. We've known each other a very long time - 15 years or so - having grown up in the same church congregation. I vividly remember her very cool New Kids on the Block comforter and playing in her cul-de-sac! We reconnected after I found out we were also having twins, and she's been an inspiration and encouragement to me in so many ways. Today, I'm talking about expectations.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I had some grandiose visions about pregnancy, birth, and parenting. Don't we all? We cradle or growing bellies and dream about the future - I would have a calm, nurturing pregnancy, a gentle, midwife-assisted birth, and be a model "attachment" parent. When we saw two heartbeats on the ultrasound screen, my dreams and reality met head-on. In Oregon, midwives can't assist a twin birth in a birth center, so my only option was to have a home birth. While I admire those women who do, it was definitely not something I was comfortable with. So, out the window went the quiet, gentle waterbirth. I left the lovely birth center and found myself an OB who would confidently vaginally deliver a breech twin B. While pregnant, I wanted to be super crafty and make amazing gifts for my daughters, glitter spilling on my swollen tummy, and take creative belly shots every month to track my progress. The crafts didn't happen: I could barely get up from the couch to press "play" as I re-watched the entire Gilmore Girls series over and over. We took some pictures, but not enough to make a clever Pinterest-inspired photo collage. But the most vivid illustration of letting go of my expectations came in watching the evolution of our birth plan. It started out as a manifesto: three typed pages, 10-point font, with every single detail spelled out. A few months later, it was down to two pages. When I went into pre-term labor at 31 weeks, it looked like I might not get to have a birth plan at all. They were able to stop the contractions, and for the next two weeks, I created three different birth plans while reclining on the hospital bed. Birth Plan One: To be used for if birth happens prior to 34 weeks with a C-Section. Birth Plan Two: To be used if a vaginal birth happens prior to 34 weeks. Birth Plan Three: Anything that happens at 35+ weeks, with sections for both vaginal and C-section.

When my girls were finally born at 34 weeks and five days, my birth plan was a one-page list of "hopes", with the only bold font being "please use donor breast milk in the NICU." Even though my pregnancy, birth, and the NICU time after was not what I had expected or desired, I still feel fortunate enough that the two things dearest to my heart happened: a vaginal birth and successful breastfeeding. I was thankful beyond belief, and could have cared less about page two, bullet-point five of the birth plan.

I also feel so blessed that God was gentle with me - He knows me enough to allow me 6 months to come to grips with not having absolute control over my birth experience. Little by little, my attitude changed, and when my daughters were finally born I was OK with whatever happened. I didn't become a passive spectator by any means, but I took ownership of what I could help, gave the rest to God, and lived in the moment, because birth is sacred, no matter how the babe(s) enter this world.

Beyond the birth experience, letting go of expectations and embracing reality has served me incredibly well in this first year as a mom to twins. Taking care of two babies means that you have no choice but to be flexible, because most days, things do not go according to plan!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Miscellany Monday

1) My parents gave us their treadmill. They are joining a gym once my Dad is given the all clear to start exercise again, and so we inherited it. It's awesome and I plan on using it all the time. 

2) I got an iPhone. I realize this is not a new phenomenon....but it is here, and it's white and I love it. But because I don't want to be tied to it, I turned off all the notifications so it doesn't beep at me all day long when people tweet me, or text me, or Facebook me or blah blah. My case doesn't get here until Thursday, so I'm a little freaked about even touching it...but yeah. So, what apps do you love??

3) We have whiny people in our house. I feel like I remember this with Jack at this age...You should be happy because you are walking, but you are still whining! And then one day it got better....I am ready for the one day, because whiny X2 is no fun I tell you.

4) I took dinner to a new twin mama in our area this last week, and her tiny little boy and girl, oh my they are so cute and I cannot believe my boys were that small. And holding them was precious, but guess what. I didn't miss it. I didn't miss the baby X2 thing, I looked at it and instantly remembered how overwhelmed and exhausted I was (in love with the boys? yes, but overwhelmed and exhausted all the same) Maybe it's still too soon for me to forget "those times".

5) Did you know I have a pretty awesome giveaway going on right now?? Click here! Make sure, if you don't see the Rafflecopter widget, to click "Read More" and that will take you to the rest of the post and the giveaway! For locals, you can choose the photo-shoot, and for you non-local peeps...there is something for you as well!!

6) I love sports. And March means March Madness and it's awesome and I love it. 

7) Oh, can you take 2 seconds and go vote for my adorable boys holding hands over at Multiples and More?? I mean, how cute it this?!

8)  Do you have a question for me? Email me at and I will be answering them on my blog! Ask about twins, my pregnancy, breastfeeding, juggling three little kids, budget, meal planning, keeping our marriage spicy, life as a Pastor's Wife, scheduling, fitness, weight loss, reading, books, my faith, traditions, blogging etc etc etc.....ask away!!

The End.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Guest: Photographer Lacie Lauree! And a GIVEAWAY!!!

I am again, so thrilled about our guest blogger today! 
She and I have been friends for over a decade (gasp!) and she has photographed some of my life's biggest accomplishments, and best moments (and will continue to do so!) Also, she is doing a after you read the post, make sure you click "READ MORE" for the GIVEAWAY with Rafflecopter!! Non-local people can enter too!! Meet, Lacie!

If you follow 3 Little Men & a Mommy’s facebook page and blog you have most likely seen my name mentioned. I am their family photographer. Since we may not know each other  I want to give you the 411 on me and where I came from and how I got where I am today. After you read this, consider us friends.

*Born on May 30th, 1982……. (silence)…. I will be 30 30!!! (insert tears here)

*Born and raised in this beautiful valley in southern Oregon.

*My mom took thousands of pictures of us during our childhood. It’s only natural that I became a photographer. Right?

* I used to pluck my leg hair because I liked the way it felt. (Oh, should I have left that out… :/)

* I started taking pictures (and getting paid for it) my senior year of high school.

* Photographing Children and Seniors has been my favorite. And births, and newborns, and weddings, and families….. you get the picture (no pun intended) I love it all!

* I am easily discouraged and hard on myself.

* I have been battling infertility for 7 years. Kicked it’s butt 1 time and was blessed with my now 3 year old son. And we are in the process of kicking infertility’s butt again! You can read about my journey here --- you for your prayers!)

*When I am in town and people watching (SO fun!) when I look at a person I am always thinking in my head how I would photograph them.

*I like to eat Top Ramen with my fingers. (Don’t worry I wash my hands first)

*If I photograph your children you can bet that I will act like a complete goof. Dancing, singing, making turkey noises, do the JC Penney tongue roll. Yep. It’s quite the site.

*I think that is all I will do. I don’t want you to fall asleep. There’s a little lesson coming up and a GIVEAWAY! 

If there is one thing I have discovered as I have gotten older (and wiser) is that photographs are SO important. I was watching an online workshop and the speaker said something that I couldn't have said better myself. 
“I believe so strongly in the power of imagery”-Sue Bryce.

 It doesn't matter if you have a point and shoot camera, a fancy DSLR or a disposable. TAKE PICTURES!! My brothers and I are older now, but when the family pictures get pulled out and we talk about the “good ol’ days” new memories are made. It’s pretty awesome!

I want to give you some tips (just a few, short and sweet) that will help your photos a bit more. Here is a series of pictures I took of my son. we had just gotten a new mattress so our old one was in the living room. My son loved his new “trampoline” and rarely left it. I was working on my computer and turned around to see him watching cartoons in his PJ’s and the light was good so I grabbed my camera.

Tips I used for these shots:

I hope this helps you a bit! You can find many great tutorials online!
A few more tips on getting great shots.
·         Get down to their level. (See the above photos. I was at his level in each shot)
·         Move in close.
·         Move the subject from the middle. (Top left image. D is moved to the left of the image)
·         Try to NOT use your flash.
·         Take a lot of pics. The way I’ve learned a lot of what I know now is by trial and error
·         If you can, and have a DSLR, buy a new lense that has the capability of a low aperture. (a whole other blogpost) but the 50mm 1.8 (1.8 being the aperture) is a great beginner lense and it is about $100.00
·         Take your camera EVERYWHERE
a Rafflecopter giveaway
If you have any questions please feel free to shoot me an email at

Thank you so much for reading today!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Miscellany Monday

Link up with Carissa

It is so definitely Monday. I woke up feeling sick...thank you little snotty nosed gremlins (shown below) for sharing.

Last night we said good-bye to one of our dearest friends, who is really more like family. He's having to go back to the U.K. (where is he from) and we are hoping it's just for a short time. It was an emotional night, for sure. We had our last Worship Concert for awhile and I got to go (thanks to some lovely ladies who watched the boys so I could just go and not worry about them) and it was incredible. I'm constantly blessed my the ministry my husband does and the way in which he does it. 
Our friend Kipper (aka Steve) and the boys

I hope you've been enjoying my guest bloggers! If you missed any, click over on the label "Guest Post" so you can get caught up!

Also, I did a little swappin' and over on the right you'll see a button for Baby Making. She's a fellow twin mama of boys who turned ONE just this last week and are they ever adorable?! So, go check out her blog (and you'll see my button on her site too!) 

This Friday my guest is actually our photographer from Lacie Lauree and she's doing a giveaway that even non-local peeps can enter!!! So stay tuned for that.

I'm wanting to do some fun stuff for St. Patrick's Day, what are you planning?

Oh...and anyone else going to see Hunger Games on opening day?? I would fall asleep at the midnight showing, so my friend and I are going the next morning :)
They are some of the best books I've read, I couldn't put them down!!

So, that's my Monday folks. Oh wait, I forgot to brag...I ran 5 miles with my friend on Saturday. Yep. It was slow (and I'm still apologizing to her) but we did it and man, it felt good.

Hope you all have a fabulous Monday!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

1 year 1 month aka 13 months...


I totally missed the "monthly update"...I guess since they are 1 now I don't think about them in months anymore, but we still need to update!!!

Right now the little chick-a-dees have nasty colds, so we are a tad miserable here, but otherwise good.

Camden just started really walking yesterday, he'd been taking steps here and there for a few weeks and as of yesterday was trying to walk everywhere. His balance is still a work in progress, but he's on his feet!
And just as Camden learns to walk, Christian is pretty much running everywhere. 

Camden loves to drop things and say "uh-oh"
If you ask him what a monkey says, he'll go "ooh-ooh, ah-ah"...yeah, super cute.
They both say "tit-tee" when they see the kitty, and Camden will repeat "No"...oh joy :)

The love to put things on their heads and play peek-a-boo, it's so cute that they initiate it.
Christian loves to hide around corners and bust out at you, and then run back around and hide. 
They love to play cars with Jack and totally have learned how to actually "play" cars driving them along the floor and I know it's from watching Jack.

Jack loves to have them come into his room to play and they make a mess and have a great time playing his drum-set or dumping all his books off the shelf. 

They both love to read books, especially Christian. 

They eat really well, usually breakfast, lunch and dinner and a snack or two in between to tide them over.
We are still at a 6:00ish wake-up time, with naps at 9:00am and 1:00pm and bedtime around 6:30pm. 
I'm ready for a 7:00pm bedtime and hopefully wake-up time, but Jack was always and early riser, so I have a feeling these boys will follow suit, I'd just love to not be so tied down to their bedtime, but I strongly believe in an early bedtime and consistency with that, so we'll let them transition later.

I am ready for them to be really walking solidly, it's going to make life so much easier.
I know you may think I'm crazy...but lugging around two little ones in my arms while chasing a 3 1/2 year old isn't, once they are more steady on their feet and can hold my's just going to make life run smoother. 

Christian loves to rock out. He doesn't just dance, the kid gets his whole body into it, and it's to anything with a beat. Seriously....anything. He just starts going and it's hilarious. We've tried to get it on video, but no luck yet. 

I'm guessing Camden is around 19lbs and Christian just under 18lbs. 
They are both in 12 month clothes or 6-12 months....with the sleeves or pants being just a tad short sometimes. 

I am loving that they know their names, they know where to look for Jack, they love to point and talk about the pictures on the walls and snuggle. 
This, and the next year, are some of my favorite months age wise, so I am really looking forward to watching them grow and develop!



Heard laughing from the other room, came in to see them holding hands and cracking up :)

Jack and Punkin
Big Brother

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Guest Blogger: Melanie from Only a Breath

Melanie has long been one of my favorite bloggers. She is real, honest and always an encouragement. Melanie is a full-time working Mom, with two cute boys at home and is married to a pilot. She posts devotions, giveaways and more. She has a design business called Elegant Custom Blogs and has even done a giveaway on my blog! She also has written for (in) courage and I am so honored to have her as my guest today!

Demolition, Diapers, and the Daily Grind
It didn't take very long for the dust to clear.
I was amazed that a house which stood for so many years could go down to nothing in a matter of minutes!I looked through the office window with my co-workers and watched as a house was completely demolished. It fascinated me, the way these skilled workers could neatly take down a house in a matter of minutes... and that it takes my kids the same amount of time to completely trash my living room.
Go figure.
The story relayed to me was of an elderly lady who had passed away, and for reasons unknown to me, her home was to be demolished. The work crew was the talk of the office as we all waited to see what would happen. I guess I pictured lots of noise and a huge mushroom cloud of debris, but there was none of that.
As quietly as the lady had passed away, her home also went back to dust...
It made me stop and think... about the body of dust I carry, and the amount of "stuff" I work so hard each day to accumulate, ... and about what really matters.
Will anything last longer than my days or does it all go back to dust?
Sweet friends, this thought is not depressing, but instead quite freeing!
Do we have to be consumed by accumulating "stuff"? Must we be so hard on ourselves in regards to what other people think about us, deadlines, diapers, and the daily grind? Could we even free ourselves from comparing our riches, bodies, talents, and <gasp!> thighs? :)
My days as a working mom are spent chin-high in work deadlines and stress, juggling diapers and responsibilities,and many times... I am just in "survival mode". Some of these things I have to do each day, but I have learned that myfocus, even in the minute details of life... can be on things that will last long after my days.
Where is my treasure?
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." ~ Matthew 6:21
When you think that what you do doesn't really matter... sweet friend, I promise you it does.
Even while scrubbing toilets, did you know it is possible for your heart to sing? ... thank you, Lord, for this family... thank you, Lord, for this home... thank you, Lord, that my arms and body are strong to work as unto you... thank you, Lord, that you are with me, even now and all the time.
When you treat others with compassion, you impact their lives. When you serve your family, even with a weary body, you are leaving a legacy of love. When you reach out to those less fortunate, you are loving them with the love of Christ.
Your life -- even TODAY -- is making a difference! You can choose each day to live in such a way that your love, compassion, laughter, service, and mercy impact those around you!
And those things... the ones that are not really "things"... are the only ones that will last.
No demolition crew can destroy them.
Are you weary today? Do you feel that the daily grind is wearing you thin? Don't give up, sweet friend. Keep your focus on that which is eternal. God knows the plans he has for you, and He sees the bigger picture. Let's we pray together for His wisdom to help us focus on the things that are eternal, even during our daily routines.

**If you liked what you read, go visit Melanie at Only a Breath!

You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook and if you look close enough she's doing a few giveaways here and there right now!**

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

How to (Breastfeed Twins) Part 2

In Part 1, I talked about breastfeeding in the NICU, the early days and latch issues as well has how we did things for the first 6 weeks. In this post I will share about:

*Feeding one at a time
*Balancing breastfeeding twins with another child in the mix
*Milk Supply Issues 
*When things don't go as planned

How To (Breastfeed Twins) Part 2:

It was around month 3 when I decided that tandem feeding was hurting more than helping. I was really having a difficult time latching them both myself without one falling off while the other was latching and so on. 
I did watch this video and it really helped, but I just wanted to be able to do all of this without help (because that was reality) so I started feeding them one at a time. 
I would grab the one showing the signs of hunger first and feed, while the other one was in the swing or the bouncer safe and sound...usually with a pacifier in case his brother was taking too  long :) 
Sometimes the waiting baby would cry.
That was probably the hardest part, and something that you would never have to deal with if you only had one baby, and something that wasn't fun...and it wasn't all the time, but it did happen. 
I would remind myself that they are okay, and just hungry and would be fed shortly. 
I would burp one baby, and then switch them out. 
Feed the next, and swing/bouncer the other!

What worked best for me was assigning one breast for each baby. 
I did this because Camden, who was tongue tied for awhile, until we got that clipped (if you are having breastfeeding issues, I would look into this, it causes so many more issues than you can imagine!) would feed better off of one side. It hurt me less and he was more efficient. 
He was never the strongest breastfeeder, so I wanted to make sure we could succeed in every area possible.
I read a lot of information about assigning a side, and what could possibly happen, but after that research and talking with our LC, I felt like it made sense and would be just fine. 

Switching from tandem to one-on-one was such a stress reliever, and although I was feeding for longer periods of time and it wasn't as "time" efficient as tandem...the stress relief, combined with one on one time was so worth it. 

I am glad I did tandem, but I wish I would have started feeding them separately sooner to save myself some pressure.

Having two small babies to feed, in addition to a 2 1/2 year old was extremely tough. 
I would try and make sure that before I sat down to feed the babies, he had a drink and snack available, his toys were out and accessible and more often that I'd have like, the TV was on. Sometimes, you have to let go of some prior "rules" and realize that life happens and you need to adjust. 
I read that when people would tandem feed, they'd have their arms available to read books to another child or do whatever. 
That just didn't happen....the babies were wiggly and I sat in a chair, there was no extra room.
But once I switched to solo feeds, I did have a free arm to help in minor cases, and it was much easier to quickly set ONE baby down and rescue Jack then setting them both down...because it's such a process to get them latched to begin with!

It was tough on this Mama's heart to be strapped to a chair every 2-3 hrs for 20 minutes at a time....while having another child who needed me. 
Very tough. 
But this would have been difficult while bottle-feeding as well, so it was more the "having two babies at the same time" struggle than it was a breastfeeding struggle. 

Milk supply. Two babies=twice as much food you are producing. 
You can't be silly and try to cut calories while breastfeeding to begin with, not if you want to give your baby the best.
But when there are two babies, you have to eat more than you normally would.
You are feeding two humans!

The body is so cool.
God did such an amazing job....with breastfeeding, the more they suck the more you produce. Which is why they often have you pump after feeds when your babies are small and still adjusting to breastfeeding. 
My milk came in rather quickly for a c-section and I had more than enough in the beginning. 
The times we weighed them after an LC visit, it was evident 'they' were doing their job.

Something happened, and I can't really pinpoint it to this day. 
I would guess stress and fatigue. 
One day they just started eating for shorter periods of time.
I was concerned they weren't getting what they needed because they went from eating 15 minutes each to 5-8 minutes.
I had read that as babies got older, some of them became so efficient, they got all they needed in that time. 
But I wanted to be sure, so we went in to the LC. 
She timed our feed and then weighed the boys.
They got a huge amount in a super short time!
I was so excited.

Well, it wasn't too long after that that we had a visit with our Pediatrician and their weight gain had dropped significantly, like drastic. 
We made another appointment with the LC.
She asked if I thought my supply was low, but I didn't think it was. They hadn't shown signs of it...being fussy or unsatisfied after feeds.
But I went to work, started using fenugreek and goats rue, drinking the Mother's Milk tea, eating oatmeal and drinking almond milk...doing what I could to help bump it up.

Well, over the course of those days the boys both began refusing to breastfeed. 
They were screaming.
They wouldn't settle, they would come on and off....and if I tried to pump it was ounces less than it had been. 
I was so discouraged.

I was given the option of a perscription drug to help increase my supply.
But the one drug is known to cause or can make worse any postpartum depression. 
And with the stress, pure exhaustion and emotional drainage I was experiencing, I didn't think that adding that sort of thing to my body was wise.
The other drug was ridiculously expensive.

I called my LC and explained that they were basically refusing to eat from me, no matter what I did. 
So, she said they had to eat, so to give them a bottle of breastmilk and continue to try breastfeeding when they were more relaxed and pump like crazy.

To make a long story short, my supply never got back up and they began to enjoy the bottle more and wouldn't even latch. 
So, over the course of the next month I pumped and used the frozen milk and bottle fed them. 

When Things Don't Go As Planned it's easy to get down on yourself. 
I remember thinking, before the twins came, how incredible it sounded, a Mom breastfeeding twins. I mean, I very much thought it sounded like the most amazing, almost impossible thing in the world. I started researching and realized, hundreds and thousands of Mom's had succeeded. I realized, I could try and do this thing!
I would tell people of my plan, and sometimes the response would be, "Yeah, that's great" and it would make me pause and think, "Do you realize what a feat that would be?!" You should be saying, "WOW! That's amazing, incredible, you are amazing! Just even wanting to is amazing! Awesome, I really hope it all works out! Breastfeeding is hard! TWO babies!!! WOW!!" 
Because, that's what I would think when I heard of someone doing it. 

There is major pressure to breastfeed in general out there.
We all know the benefits are undeniable and we all know it's the very best thing to feed your baby.
But, you know what. 
Sometimes it just doesn't happen.
Sometimes you can't ( I don't care what La Leche says)
Sometimes you can't for physical, emotional or personal reasons. 
And you know what?
That is OKAY. 

And it's okay to start and to try, and there are no rules. 
You don't need to do it for anyone else.
I'm sure someone is reading this story and thinking, 
"Well, you should have done this, or you could have done this, if you really wanted to"
But they aren't me. 
They don't know every detail of what we tried or didn't and they sure didn't live in my house those months. 
The fact is: some babies are easier than others, some people have everything fall into place. 
Others do not.
But we are all trying to do the very best for our children, and that may look very different.

I really hated stopping breastfeeding. But it was more because I was competitive with myself about it, and deep down I really had wanted to make it one year.
It wasn't convenient for me, feeding twins.
It was so stressful that it didn't feel like sweet, luscious "bonding time"- it was work.
I was so thankful to have been able to do it for the 5 months we did it, and thankful that I had frozen milk to use after and thankful I tried.

I was relieved when all of the pressure was off of me. 
The bottles, those were a pain to wash and prep. 
And the formula wasn't cheap 
(although Costco's is the cheapest and made by the same company as Enfamil and branded just for Costco (Kirkland)

I made it farther with the twin's than I did with Jack (milk supply issues made more difficult by his severe acid reflux and colic)
I had hoped to have one easy breastfeeding experience, where you just have the baby attached all day long and you feed them out and about with just a blanket and no boppy.
The one where you just lie in bed and roll over to feed and then back to sleep.
I dreamt of that.
But that wasn't for me. 
My road was tough, in fact, it was by far the hardest thing I have done.
But I am glad I did it while I did it, and I am extremely proud of myself. 

So, when things do go the way you planned, it's okay. 
Thank goodness there is formula to feed them and that they don't starve. 

To sum it up

Breastfeeding twins CAN be done. You need support, and you should read up on it before they come. 
Talk to other twin Mom's and watch videos and read books and talk to your hubby about it.
Ask questions.
Read up on milk supply before they come, and get yourself a really really really good pump.
See if you can rent a hospital grade pump!

Talk to your LC before they come, your pediatrician and see if they have experience with Mom's of multiples breastfeeding, and if they don't...find someone who does.
Support is key!

Make sure your friends and family know. Make sure they know that life in the first few weeks might not be conducive to them just popping in to see the babies, because you will most likely be feeding them and there is just no way to do that discreetly. :)

I would love to answer any questions you have so please e-mail me!

Below is a list of great resources for you and I hope that it will help you succeed!

This book was fabulous! From pregnancy, to NICU, to home and the toddler years! All things TWIN! Mainly for breastfeeding, but also for much more!

La Leche (while I think they can be quite harsh and a little 'uppity' they do have great resources and support

Breastfeeding Twins- great site!!

KellyMom was one of my top places to go for information on breastfeeding in general!

This site has great info on bumping up your milk supply!

bohomama is a friend of mine who had NICU babies and is still breastfeeding at 8 months. She has some great posts and also a great list of resources!

Dakotapam is a blogging friend who breastfed her twin girls for over a year and was a great encouragement. She has tons of posts and will also chat via email with you about any concerns or questions!