All The Wild Things

We don't get a ton of snow here on the valley floor, so while you may laugh (especially if you live in Minnesota or Alaska)...this amount granted us a snow day from school!
The boys loved it. 

Waste me on You...it's become the cry of my heart. 


It's a lyric from Shane and Shane's song, "I Want it All"

Use me, break me, waste me on You, Lord
Ruin me, take me, waste me on You For to die is to live...  to starve is to feast  and less of me is more of Jesus  Lord, I want it all  Lord, I want it all  If I lose my life  I gain everything  And at the cross  Away with all death's sting  Lord, I want it all  Lord, I want it all  There is power in the blood  There is victory in Jesus 

It's based off  a few verses in Philippians.

It's a deceleration  not just a pretty song. Giving myself to Him, recognizing that what that may look like is a lot more sacrificial and scary than anyone wants to admit. 

Do I truly mean it? Do I mean what I say when I say I will do ANYTHING for Him? Give him EVERYTHING I am and that there are no stipulations? Or do I say it, holding back part of myself? Like my safety, and my families safety? 

There is no half in here. I'm either all in o…

I didn't post a 21 month update, whoops.


22 Months

In two months these boys will be two. It's so strange, I feel this past year has just flown by. They still seem so babyish, and I find myself treating them like little babies more often than not.

They are loving puzzles and books, they are really good and puzzles and they usually fight over them.
They love to stack blocks and push the mower and popper around the house.

They love to chase and they will stand at the entry way, count to three and then run into the living room to dive onto the bean bag. They totally take turns and it's so cute.

They have lots of words and they are loving to sing Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves the Little Children, The BIBLE, Healer, and Row Row Row the Boat.

They are still sleeping from about 7pm-7am and napping from 12-2ish. They eat waffles, french toast, pancakes and bananas for breakfast. Hot Dogs, chicken nuggets, PB& Honey sandwiches, cheese, grapes for lunch. Spaghetti, Mac & Cheese, Quesa…

Grief. It's been heavy on my heart lately. Holidays bring with them, a joyous spirit which can sometimes be woven together with sadness and the reality of a loss. 

I was chatting with some dear friends about how when people are going through a tough time, either a spouse or parent or child has passed away, everyone is there for you. You have incredible support and they bend over backwards for you. But after a few weeks, or a month or so...people stop asking. People don't call or send you a card, or check to see how you are doing.

Often it takes such a time to grieve that the time people need you most, is those several weeks to months after when the adrenaline that you get pushes you through the hardest times, and you are left in a fog. 

I think sometimes, people don't know what to do. They are worried that bringing it up might cause pain, but I believe that most often people do want you to ask and talk about it, they need to continue to feel supported and loved and especially…

I got a little note from Blogger saying I can't upload anymore pictures because I've met my quota.
I didn't know there was a quota.
I'm frustrated.  Whatever decision I make, I end up having to spend money.
Either I pay for more storage, or pay to move to Wordpress.
It's dumb.

That's all I have to say.

Sad Face.

I wish so bad that I could truly share my heart with each of you over a nice hot cup of coffee.

I wish that you were sitting across from me in a local coffee shop, legs tucked up under in a big comfy chair and your favorite drink was being sipped and holiday music played in the background and I could look into your eyes and tell you what really is going on in my heart.

It just doesn't seem fair, to read it online... I wish ever so much it was in person.

A year ago I would have never seen myself the way I am today.

We never know what to expect in a coming year, and we know there will be good and bad and yet we cannot ever imagine what life will really look like.

Sometimes it's a physical change, something tangible. Like watching your Mama walk graciously through breast cancer or your Dad go through open heart surgery and then only a few months later run in a 5k race. Or you move, or you get a new car or your kids are taller or your hair is grayer.


Sometimes it's inside.  The chang…