I've been thinking a lot about these babies, these twins.
I have heard so many different things since I found out I was pregnant with twins.
"Wow, your hands are going to be full!"
""Oh my gosh, that's crazy!"
And then there are these comments, that aren't made TO me, but they are made around me.
"I'm so glad I don't have twins"
"I am praying I don't ever have twins"
"I was so glad there weren't twins in there"
I have to say, people just don't filter well, their words. And when it comes to your children, you are just oober protective, right?!
I have had twins for 7 1/2 months now and I carried them for 8 1/2 months.
Here is what I know:
1) I am blessed beyond belief. Not that I wouldn't be blessed with one baby at a time, but I really do feel an extra special blessing with these boys.
2) They are incredibly different little boys. Not only do they look totally different, but they act totally different too. Do you know how stinking cool that is?! To watch babies, the same exact age, from the same womb be so different. It is utterly fascinating and ridiculously enjoyable.
3) Yes, my hands are full. But they would have been full no matter what. Kids are a handful, and we always said 3-5 kids...so YES it's a lot to deal with at once, but my hands were destined to be full.
4) The bond they will always have is something you cannot create any other way
5) I don't get much of a break during my day. But again, I wouldn't if I had 3 singletons, or 4 or 5.
That's my choice as a Mommy. I wanted nothing else than to be a Mommy, and I knew that this is what it would look like. Yes, I get out for a coffee date, or to the bookstore alone (my hubby is wonderful about giving me time) But in my day to day, the quiet moments are rare. Did I expect anything else? No. I wouldn't change it for anything. I am called to this.
6) I don't remember much of those first 3 months.
2 1/2 year old Jack
Not sleeping ever
This makes for a blurry memory. And I am glad I took the advice from other twin mama's and took tons of pictures. I look at them weekly.
But the days are going fast now, and they are growing quickly and I am savoring each moment.
7) I never in my life thought I would have 3 boys. Never.
Now, you couldn't convince me that any other way is how it should have been.
I cannot wait to have a house full of smelly high school boys, straight from sports practice, hungry.
A house full of loud boys, eating me out of the cupboards.
I want this house to be "the house" where they are all welcome with all their buddies.
I cannot wait to be that Mom in the stands cheering on her boys!
8) I love my husband now more than ever before, and when we are home, all 5 of us, we work so well together. We make an amazing team and things just flow, it's beautiful.
9) I am so proud of Jack. It has been tough, and he will be adjusting for awhile, but he is an incredible little boy. So thankful he is my firstborn.
10) When I lost that baby, I was devastated. When I found out I was pregnant with twins, everything was made clear. HE knew better than I did.
To imagine life without these little boys....I just can't do it.
I am so grateful that He chose to bless me through that loss.
And that is what I know.