I'm just sitting here, sipping on my carmel blondie from Black Rock, thinking about how blessed I am. It's overwhelming at times to realize what God has done for me and what He's given me. I'm listening on the monitor as my son is talking himself to sleep, watching my cat roll around on the ground like a weirdo and knowing the love of my life will be home in about 2 hours. I feel at times I will explode with thankfulness and gratitude.
These past few weeks (4 to be exact) have been extremely difficult. An emotional roller coaster of fear, anger, overwhelming sadness and grief. But never doubt....I have not once doubted God. Why? Because I believe that He is always faithful and that His timing is perfect. It's not easy to believe this, it's not easy to follow through on what you are taught and what you know. But there is no other choice. You can still be angry at Him for the things He allows you to go through. I have told Him time and time again that I was mad, upset, angry, hurt and fearful. But I kept talking to Him, I kept telling Him how I felt. And because of that, He has heard my cry and has comforted me in this valley. The verse below is one that Trevor and I have felt has spoken to our hearts and is a reminder that although we don't know what He's doing, He is still guiding and He's not left us alone. It is such a comfort to know that, beyond a shadow of a doubt....He's still there.
"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them."